IN RECENT NEWS:

I made a new blog, because apparently that's what I do sometimes. I NEED A CHANGE. So, I will no longer be updating this one. Aw. Anyways, if you want to keep up with my sometimes poetry and sometimes random lists/ridiculous updates about my life, I'll be posting stuff here: heartsbeatheadsbeat.blogspot.com

k. ily.

--erin

Outro

dear paris,

i would've stitched our hearts together like the lips of the damned
if it could've helped anything.

i'd've kissed you like you were more than just my muse,
but i needed to taste heaven before committing to hell.

(there was nothing less innocent than our love.

your black and white tendencies
were always more enticing than a technicolor alpine,

and your hands were always more thrilling.)

all good things must come to an end, though, paris,
and you...
you were the best thing.

mama tells me it's time to go now.
i know you won't wait,
but i'll be seeing you.

watching.
waiting.
writing.
i'm coming back to you,
someday.
someday.

i'm leaving the way i came,
pessimistically and with a journey weighing heavily
on my mind and
on my back.


goodbye, paris.

with a measure of corrupted love,

--alis priddy

r.e.m. is still turning when i walk away (actually literally.)

sometimes i think i'm stuck in that split second between flicking the switch and darkness.

or that infinity before the gas light turns on but after you think it should.

i've heard anticipation is a gift.

and i don't know if the smiths really sound better on vinyl or if the joy of finding my dad's old records is making me light-headed.

i'm living a series of befores, because durings are unremarkable and afters are nostalgic,

and I'm done with nostalgia.

the end of the beginning came and went with the beginning of the middle, and the middle of the middle is nothing to write home about.

until it is, i'll keep the shoeboxes of memories and nameless valentine's cards under the bed.

call me if you could use them.


--erin

(actual albums my dad owns.)

Observations:

Line the top lid.

Roll the cuffs once to the wrist, above the bone.

Top knot's a knot, more for annoyance than effort.

Hand towels don't stay on the hook.

Pillows littered, catching falling sighs.

Hips aren't as tall as shoulders, even on the side.

Satin lines on the nightstand, pen in the pages, saying, "be back soon."

Before the sunset between the blinds, caught in a room that won't notice it.

Ticking on the sill, time the light.

Soft angles and a curl falling by the jawline.

Pretend you don't mind silence.

Pretend you're the stillness.

Surrounded.

Soundless.

Soundless.

soundless


--Erin

Hi. I think I have a Crush. Capital C. Hi. I think I'm back in middle school.

Things that are cute about you:

• Green eyes (I like green eyes just in general, tbh)
• Your laugh when you stop caring
• The way you aren't ridiculously outgoing
• Your voice (it definitely isn't off-putting)
• That you sometimes watch me
• You say "hi" to me first
• Your smile when something unexpected happens
• Your smile when something unexpected doesn't happen, you're just happy
• You don't feel the need to smile all the time

Things you should know about me:

• I'm not what you would call "trusting"
• I swear (kind of a lot)
• I am kind of anti-social and you'll have to tear me away from fanfiction sometimes
• I'm protective of my restaurant leftovers
• I like babies
• I spend a lot of money at Sonic
• I probably won't talk to you unless you talk to me
• I sleep (kind of a lot)
• I write pretentious poetry often
• I will probably tell you the same stories over and over again
• I'm bad at the whole "share your feelings with me" thing, so if that happens, it'll probably be through pretentious poetry and I'll make you read it but then won't let you discuss it with me because I'm insecure about it and it'll make me feel weird that you've read it even if I've expressly told you to
• I love Harry Potter more than Dobby loves hats
• I probably won't tell you anything on either of these lists because you're cute but I'm introverted and I don't like that whole rejection thing because who does so I'm planning to die alone with various cats and dogs so my hermit house will almost invariably smell like shit and I'll be like that lady in my ward who had a pet raccoon oh my gosh I'm going to end up like Sister Tracey
• Sometimes run-ons
• I'm majoring in English and attempting to be with the Phantom so if we get married, which we probably won't, let's hope you're going the Raoul route and majoring in business or something boring like that (no offense to the business majors, but)

Conclusion:

• I wouldn't be opposed to you taking me on a date, but I can guarantee that I won't ask you out myself because I've already been over this with the Sister Tracey bullet point
• You're cute
• That first list is kind of short because we really haven't talked much because I'm antisocial
• I'm awkward and make weird faces all the damn time
• I swear and you're going on a mission, so I would try not to swear in front of you just like I try not to swear where anywhere on campus except where maybe Lexi and my roommate can hear it except for when I get locked out of my room at 1:30 AM and I don't know when my roommate will be back so I have to sit in the hall without my phone until she does and I accidentally swear in the middle of the hall
• You can't hold my heart yet
• You can hold my hand

--Erin